Bitch Kitty Racing

Men finally settle down in their thirties. We become more interested in creating a home and protecting it, we develop an interest in children, many of us want to get married and get out of the dating game once and for all. The sex drive has become somewhat muted, no longer the raging insistence that controls our every thought and emotion the way it did from the onset of adolescence through most of our twenties. We develop hobbies, or take an interest in sport. We have mellowed and become much more sure of ourselves. We are entering our prime years, both physically and professionally. We are finally fully adult males. If we were gorillas, like many say we are, we would finally be getting our silver backs.

Oddly enough, God created woman differently. With the physical onset of final adult form comes sexual primacy. Once the hips and breasts have filled out in the late twenties she also begins to fully realize her personal and professional power. This is the transformation from girl to woman, from giggling cheerleader to CEO. She is also entering her prime, but suddenly wants a slightly different world than her male counterpart.

Observational evidence suggests that women around or slightly past thirty have a sex drive that can be somewhat terrifying to the unsuspecting younger male. Most men have had a lover of this age during their college-age years, and most men fondly remember their “teacher.” Men learn more about sex from this one woman than the ten age-appropriate girls that follow. For the silver-backed adult male, these women are a sexual revelation. They have the experience and stamina that every man craves. They have the self-confidence to express their desires. They transform from flirts to seductresses, from kittens to tigers.

His head snaps around when she enters the room, pheromonal heat radiating into his midsection. Her body is full and fertile, primed for mating at seemingly all times. His breath quickens, his eyes dilate, his nostrils flare. His adorable twenty-three year-old date seems a bit vapid, comparatively. He remembers they really have nothing in common but sex, and outside of her taut and nubile body there’s no real thrill, no consuming sexual passion, no irrefutable attraction. He feels slightly embarrassed in front of the adult female, because she’s mocking him for dating such a stupid young thing, laughing at him. He’s looking at an equal, something to conquer, something to fight with, someone who won’t wear out, someone he doesn’t have to train. His date begins to look younger and younger in his eyes; she lacks the appropriate curves that indicate she’s a woman and not a girl. Men topple kingdoms for the love of queens; they merely fight over concubines.

The over-thirty male becomes confused after the sex by the fact that the over-thirty female doesn’t call the next day, or even the next week. He loved her conversation, her wit, her intelligence, and most of all the sex. He enjoyed being around someone his own age and actually having things in common. He thinks of her as a potential mate. However, women of this age seem to have lost the urge to settle down. They apparently have no use for the adult protector male. They don’t need him; they have enough power on their own. He’s finally ready for kids; she is beginning her prime earning years and is not about to compromise her career. He wants to build a home; she already bought and furnished her own. He wants a soul-mate; she wants a bed-mate.

There is a common belief that men feel threatened by women with power, that these women are bitches or man-eaters. Perhaps a more realistic truth is that men want to dominate these women because they are challenging. Men badly want these women sexually but they seem to have no use for him. He does want to dominate her; in order to have sex she must submit to the mechanical process of penis entering vagina, her body literally accepts the insertion. The challenge of the female he can’t have triggers the aggressive tendencies hardwired in the brain. Unpleasant though it may be to admit, we are closely related to chimpanzees who routinely raid other troops for the purpose of stealing the females, often killing their opponents in the process. Human males routinely fight over women, either in actual physical combat or posturing, fist fights or intellectual one-upmanship. The human male may have a subconscious and unrealized desire to kill the opponent that stands in the way of the female he wants, all the more horrific if it is the female herself that is standing in his way.

Dating in the thirties is, by most accounts, a nightmare. There are far fewer available and desirable long-term partners. Many have already paired off, many are recovering from previous marriages, many just don’t have the interest any longer. There are several sayings, such as: “All the good ones are taken or gay” and “All the available ones are crazy, have children, or both.” Prima facie, these sayings can be offensive. A deeper look indicates the primal urge to pass on the individual’s own genetic material. The dating pool is smaller in the thirties, and it is fraught with divorcees and other people’s children, with emotional scars and selfish behavior because of them. The single person battles self-confidence issues, thinking: “I’m not gay. Why aren’t I taken? Am I not a good one?” “Who the hell is going to date me when I have kids?” “I can’t give any more to someone else’s emotional needs. I have to take care of myself. How am I going to date?” “I need sex but I am totally unwilling to put up with any more of this dating crap to get it.” We may well be hardwired to reproduce, the ticking “biological clock.” Men feel it as well as women. In early sexually active years it manifests as the desire to have as much sex with as many people as possible. Later, it becomes the aforementioned home-building desire. Right when available and interesting women have very little interest in same. God laughs as men start dating younger women because they are available, they do not have children yet, they are not married. When women are ready to settle down again the men of similar age are taken.

If we have made it to our thirties single, bloodied but unbowed, ready for further punishment, still looking for that special someone with an open heart and mind, we must all be acting on the hardware and not the software. The brain has to be secreting primal chemicals which insist, “Reproduce. Reproduce. Reproduce.” The rational and evolved part of the brain would never allow us to repeatedly put ourselves such a potentially harmful situation, in very much the same way that children learn that fire is incredibly painful if they hold their hands in it. Emotional damage is just as painful and scarring as bodily damage, hence the incredible number of psychotherapists, counselors, and support groups. We all admit that bad childhood experiences can seriously impair a person well into adulthood; why don’t we admit that bad adult experiences are just as terrorizing? In cases of violence or incredible stress, we do: post traumatic stress disorder. We also need to allow post traumatic relationship disorder.

Saturday night beckons. Are you free?