Bitch Kitty Racing

Note from the legal department of Bitch Kitty Racing:

This article is about responsible women living with HIV. Its intent is to inform both sexes that normal life is possible for women living with HIV. It does not cover men living with HIV, their lifestyles, sexuality, or risks. It is not a primer on safe sex, nor is it intended to be. The only HIV transmission that is discussed is from a responsible HIV-positive woman to a responsible HIV-negative man.

This article is informative entertainment only. Information about safe sexual practice is widely available online. Failure to practice safe sex is how HIV spreads. Failure to practice safe sex greatly increases your risk of getting HIV.

Contact your local AIDS organization for more information.

Women Living with HIV

Kelly Hill is usually described as “elfin.” Not quite five feet tall, with lightly slanted, almond shaped eyes and a pixie haircut, her personality fills the room like Tinkerbell on an espresso jag. On a Friday night, she’s usually seen with a Cosmopolitan in one hand and cigarette in the other. Kelly works for Babes Network, an organization that supports women living with HIV. She brought along her coworker Nicole Price to the crowded Seattle bar to talk about the truth of living with HIV. Though a very vivacious curly-headed blonde, Nicole seemingly has a tinge of melancholy at the edge of her personality. She’s paradoxically open yet reserved, flirty yet cool.

Both women are HIV positive.

Life with HIV is still life. As Nicole says, “I have HIV; I am not HIV.” Neither allows herself to be defined by the virus she carries in undetectable levels, the virus which hides in the brain and spinal column. They both earn their living sharing their stories, giving other women the strength of positive example. Through modern medication, and hopefully its descendents, both Kelly and Nicole can expect to live a normal lifespan. Through temperament, both women can expect to lead normal lives. However, they describe themselves as exceptions to the rule. “We’re like this, but a lot of our women are not. They’re very different,” says Kelly. The women of whom she speaks may not have had enough education to understand their situation. They may think their lives are over, become depressed and isolate themselves. They may have had very traumatic experiences with others upon “coming out,” letting others know they are positive. Not everyone is going to understand, accept, and offer support, not even in this day and age. There is a social stigma attached to HIV, and that stigma lies in ignorance.

“Education is key,” Kelly says. These women need to know that life goes on. These women need to know that the things that made them feel good about themselves are still inside them, that they are the same people they were before. There has been a change, nothing more.”

Nicole found out was HIV positive when her ex-boyfriend became very ill. Though he was six foot three, his weight was down to 130 pounds. He was constantly fatigued and had dizzy spells, but unfortunately had no health insurance. He continued on with his life without knowing what was wrong with him, unable to afford the care he needed. Finally hospitalized, tests revealed that he had two types of AIDS-related pneumonia: Cryptococcus and Kaposi sarcoma. He had full-blown AIDS, and had probably been infected for ten years without knowing it.

Nicole was tested and had to wait for two weeks for the results. Unfortunately, her ex-boyfriend didn’t want her to tell anyone why he was so sick. She acquiesced, and had to wait for two weeks with only the support of one trusted confidante. “I had to tell somebody,” she says. “I just couldn’t keep something like that in.”

After the two weeks, Nicole was invited top sit down in a doctor’s office at the hospital. She found herself unable to enter the room, instead gripping the door while her friend waited nearby in the hall. The doctor kept insisting that she enter the office and sit down, but Nicole kept refusing, instead demanding her results. The doctor finally said, “Well, let’s just sit down. Let’s just talk.”

“No,” said Nicole. “I don’t want to talk. Here’s my paper. Tell me what the deal is.”

The doctor said, “Okay, you’ve tested positive for an HIV antibody.”

Nicole still had her hand on the door. She nodded to her friend in the hall, then slid to the floor. She didn’t even talk to the doctor after his pronouncement, she merely accepted his information packet and left.

Oddly enough, Nicole believes she knows the time she became infected with the virus. “I’m pretty sure I knew when I got it, because they say you develop flu-like symptoms when you are first infected and your body is trying to fight it off.” She had become very ill, was unable to even keep water down, and lay in bed for two weeks. She finally saw a doctor, who pronounced she was dehydrated and needed more fluids. The doctor would have had no way of knowing if indeed Nicole had become infected; the incubation period for the virus is too long.

About two weeks after Nicole was diagnosed she attended a women’s conference and heard stories of life with HIV. There were women there who had been positive for a long time, and Nicole learned she could take medication to control the illness. She also learned that not only would she live, but that she would be able to have a normal life. After beginning her career at Babes she learned that she could still have children.

Kelly Hill does have a child, a handsome, dark-eyed five year-old named Avram. During pregnancy Kelly saw an HIV specialist and went on medication. Her viral load was kept down to undetectable levels, and she gave birth to a normal, healthy, HIV-negative boy. The transmission rate of HIV from mother to child is less than two percent, and in Washington State no child has been born with the virus since 1995. Avram was tested for the first four months of his life, but after that even testing was unnecessary. Like all mothers with HIV, Kelly was unable to breast feed. Like all mothers with HIV, with minimal precautions Kelly poses no viral threat to her child.

A very important point must reiterated: current medications, properly taken, can suppress the virus to the point that a mother cannot even transmit the virus to a child in utero, even though all bodily fluids are commingling. This does not mean it’s impossible, but it is worth noting.

Kelly’s boyfriend at the time told her he had AIDS in April of 2000. They had had unprotected sex, so Kelly assumed that she would test positive for the virus. One month later, she did. Retesting confirmed the result, but Kelly was still healthy. She only began medication when she became pregnant a year later.

A year after giving birth to Avram, Kelly developed AIDS, a condition which is marked by a high viral load and a low CD4 cell count (CD4 cells are a type of white blood cell that fights infection. Their number signals the health of the immune system). She began a new drug regimen, which quickly reversed her numbers. She continues this regimen today, and will be on it for the rest if her life.

Kelly’s ex-boyfriend and father of her child did not adhere to his regimen and the virus became resistant to his drugs. He remains healthy, but his doctors are waiting to prescribe any other drugs because they want to be sure he will follow his program. If he does not, the virus will mutate again and he will become resistant to his new drugs. There is also the very real danger that the new virus, resistant to currently available drugs, will spread.

Imagine being unexpectedly pressed to the floor by someone. If that person releases the pressure, you can stand up and brace yourself against any further pressing. The virus does this, and very efficiently. It can mutate into entirely new strains. There is now a fast-acting strain that is resistant to all current medications, commonly know as SuperAIDS. The importance of taking the drugs when and as prescribed cannot be overstated. There are only so many drugs available, and when none of these work the HIV-positive person will develop AIDS and become sick, then die prematurely.

Sexually speaking, the easiest transmission route of the virus is through a break in the skin, e.g. the vagina. Women literally accept males inside them, and accept anything the male might be carrying in his semen, and HIV is carried in semen. Kelly puts it rather succinctly: “For a woman, you’re a wide open receptacle. Any kind of come or pre-come, any kind of anything comes into you, it’s all shooting inside of you.”

It is much harder for a man to get the virus from a woman. As Nicole says, “When a woman and a man are having sex it doesn’t shoot inside of his penis, it goes around it, it’s outside.” It is not impossible, but each partner has to have a break in the skin, those breaks must come into contact, and fluids must be exchanged. The urethral opening is very small, and does not readily lend itself to this process. In uncircumcised males, there may be cracks in the foreskin which allow transmission. Herpes greatly increases the risk of HIV infection. These are all examples of open sores or breaks in the skin.

Viral load plays a large role in transmission. Remember that medication can suppress the virus to undetectable levels, even to the point that a mother cannot pass the virus on to the child while she is pregnant. Responsible people with HIV get tested every three months to make sure the medication is still working. They know their viral load and CD4 counts.

Kelly and Nicole are both responsible women. When they go out, they go out like anyone else. They mingle, they flirt, they have fun. Neither thinks that it is necessary to inform anyone with whom they are not going to have sexual contact that they are HIV-positive. Both think that it is necessary to inform someone with whom they may have sexual contact that they are HIV-positive. The topic does not come up in normal conversation, though both women are very open about their status.

It also happens that in normal dating the women will find men who simply don’t understand how the virus is transmitted. Nicole tells of a man who reacted violently upon finding out she was HIV-positive, as if she were trying to trick him, as if she were some modern-day Typhoid Mary. Kelly tells of a man who was not an ignorant jerk, who accepted the information in stride. They both tell of men who simply wanted more information. They both accept their potential partner’s decision.

Safe sex can be had with an HIV-positive person. In the case of a responsible HIV-positive woman and an HIV-negative man, IF the virus is suppressed to undetectable levels AND no breaks in the skin are present, normal sexual play is a highly unlikely transmission route, though not an impossible one. Kissing will not do it. Petting will not do it. Cunnilingus will not do it. Fellatio will not do it. Vaginal sex, using a condom, will not do it. However, anal sex increases the risk of bleeding through tearing and should be avoided. Any behavior which increases the risk of bleeding should be avoided, including severe biting or scratching. Obviously, responsible adults will use communication and precautions to protect themselves further. Obviously, responsible adults will use communication and precautions to protect themselves anyway.

Kelly and Nicole are both normal women living normal lives. They define themselves as who they are, not what they are. This is one of life’s most important lessons. It doesn’t matter if a person is rich, or is unattractive, or is missing a limb, or has a great car, or has a wonderful education, or has a virus. None of these things define who the person is. It is how the person views and lives life that is the definition of the person. No matter what anyone possesses, life goes on, regardless.