Bitch Kitty Racing

Happy Holidays!

The Christmas Bunny unleashes his machete-wielding, ecumenical fury on the Jew-hating Santa Claus in this turgid, throbbing eruption of blood-soaked holiday cheer!

Enjoy!

John Moroney

P.S. Bitch Kitty Racing is intended either for mature audiences or for those who’ve had a university-level film history class on Roman Polanski.

XO

Brought to you by Bitch Kitty Records and Springman Records.

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I remember being glued to our 5” black and white screen when it aired in 1978. Since then, The Star Wars Holiday Special has been buried by Lucas as a Fifth Child. Until now, that is . . . Oh, them internets!

This runs about two hours, but it’s such a deliciously horrifying experience.

Enjoy!

The live version is quite possibly the most brilliant bit of easily mimicked dancing and bad synthesizers ever to be put to film (barring the Macarena, of course). But, oh my! The cartoon version (video #2) is EVEN BETTER!

I also have to admit that I feel very, very dirty for having a moment’s prurient pleasure viewing the three schoolgirls in short skirts and knee-high boots. Oh, well. Back to Peach Girl.

Fuck you, California.

Ah, nothing beats the sight of one hundred thousand liberals, homosexuals, and Jews spontaneously celebrating the outcome of a presidential election! This was the scene in my neighborhood on November 4, 2008. I didn’t film this (obviously. If I had, it would suck significantly less), but I’m glad someone did. It makes me so proud of my community, I just want to hop in a Prius, drive to the suburbs and yell “Breeder!” at all the ugly people in Costco-brand, non-ironic acid-washed denim. Perhaps I’ll even get out of the car with a clipboard and ask people if they’d like to help the environment today.

I would like to point something out that is really pissing me off about the mainstream media: the phrase “the first black president.” No one under the age of forty gives a shit that Obama isn’t entirely white—they care that he’s a Democrat. I have no idea how anyone could possibly think that Iraq was a good idea, or that imprisonment without the benefit of trial is legal, or that torture is moral, or that no-bid contracts to the vice-president’s company are right . . .

Eight years of president Dumbass is enough. Two years of this fucking campaign is enough. Finally, America can look out to the world and say, “I told you we were only half retarded.”